Laying Ghosts To Rest

A couple of days ago, it occurred to me that there were people that I weren't on the best of terms with, but that I still had the temerity to call my friends. Some I hadn't spoken to in years, some, months, and all for different reasons.

I also realized that I would like to be a proper friend. I do remember having arguments with a few, but they were so long ago now that it seems silly to hold a grudge. And I don't even want to have grudges against anyone, truthfully. I wanted to just let go of any animosity, move on, and be happy with my life.

So in my head, I made a list of five people that I should contact and make amends with. The idea to write to them and offer my apologies for anything that went wrong came to me in the middle of the night, so I felt quite blasé about it all. It didn't seem like a big deal to just suck it up and step forward first.

The following morning, though, when I was actually faced with having to write out the words, it didn't seem like that great an idea. I thought, what if I'm just obsessing over these things and they don't even care? Or, why should I have to apologize for things that were both our faults? Or even, in one case, why should I have to be the person to take the first step in this?

They were all excuses, though. I wanted to do this because I wanted to be a better person, and over-analyzing every little thing wasn't likely to help. 

So I did it. I sent out my e-mails/messages to all five of the people, explaining what I thought had gone wrong and saying that I was sorry if there was a sorry to be said.

Two of them have gotten back to me, of the five. And even if the other three never reply, I'm still glad that I made the attempt, and can think of myself as a better person for it.

Most people would choose to forget about it and move on and if you do, that's up to you. I'd encourage facing up to it, though. Honestly, I cannot tell you how very light I feel. 

Getting into contact with five people I thought I should re-establish friendships with was actually one of my resolutions for this year, and it's only March! It'll feel good to tick it off the list. I've printed out the list and put it up on my wall, so hopefully everything'll be done.

Happy End of March, everyone.

I'm Back

I've been gone for a while now, I know.


I couldn't bring myself back here. I did think about it, a couple of times, but ultimately decided against it because not much good was going on, and I didn't want to be depressing on my blog. Today, I kind of kicked myself back into it. Figured I was being depressing by acting depressed about the blog in the first place.


Let's see.


A few weeks ago (2 weeks now, I think), I met with the international officer for the uni. He'd been doing a tour thing of the Middle East. Very nice guy, name of Fahd Ali Asif. To meet him, I had to go through Dundee's representative here in Dubai, which is a firm called IQ Education Consultants. Can I just say, I am EXTREMELY glad that I managed to make this meeting?


I'd been nervous about the whole thing, of course, thinking that it was some sort of informal interview. Might be a bit of a stretch, but I assumed that the debacle of last year led the uni to thinking me mad and sent someone to ensure that they weren't taking on a complete nutter. Wasn't the case, of course, but really, I wasn't in a state of mind that let me think very rationally.


Mum came with me. While in the cab, she asked if she might come in as well, and I expressly forbade it. I didn't want him thinking I needed my mother around me to handle the grown-up talks, of all things. She huffed and settled back into her seat, but acquiesced.


When we reached, I was introduced to a woman called Divya, who was a very nice lady that got me to sign something stating I'd met with Mr. Asif. She also handed me a prospectus for the uni, which was nice. I love those kinds of things; it makes everything seem so much more real.


When she invited me into the room where Mr. Asif was (I had to wait for about a half hour, but I wasn't bored, not with my new prospectus!), I got to my feet and moved toward the door. From behind, I heard her voice say, "Ma'am, you can go in too, if you'd like."


I whipped around as fast as I could, already halfway through protesting, when my mother breezed past me in an elegant sort of fast trot and straight into the room. I have a feeling she was waiting to be asked. Because if that was merely the speed of her reaction, then it is completely unfair that I was not blessed with an equally impressive reaction time. "THINK FAST!" doesn't work on me, and never has. Whatever you throw will hit me, and I will cry about the unfairness of it all.


But I'm going off-topic.


Mum was already shaking hands with Mr. Asif when I entered the room, so I (sighed inwardly and) introduced myself before taking a seat next to her. It was all very pleasant, and not at all interview-like. He was there to answer MY questions, it turned out. Thankfully, that scenario had also occurred to me in my nightmares about this whole meeting, so I had a few questions I could pull out of the back of my mind. Divya sat in as well, and answered a couple of questions I had about the visa part of it all.


Interview over, shake hands again, leave room in an excellent mood (ignoring Mum at this point). I was stopped leaving, though. This is the part where my extreme gratitude to the world comes in.


Divya and a co-worker explained to me that, since I was meeting with a university rep of a uni that they were representing, they could also take on my case completely free. If I'd applied through them to a university that they were not affiliated with, there would have been a fee. Or at least, that's what I'd gathered.


When they told me that this also meant that they would be handling my visa application as well (with a track record of 100% visa-application success), I genuinely felt this massive weight lifted from my shoulders. Having to do it alone last year was a bummer, and them offering to do the very thing I was dreading doing all over again...well. I am relieved.


They also handle my relations with the university, in the sense that I ask them the questions, and they ask the university and then get back to me. Not nice of me, but that's kind of a relief as well, in the sense that I felt I was being a massively royal pain because of the number of e-mails I sent to the university direct. They were always nice enough and prompt with their replies, but that didn't stop me from feeling like I was asking too many questions that should be common sense. So having something akin to a liaison officer is just what I needed.


Divya is handling my case now. She's awesome. I'm starting to expect replies to my e-mails within the hour; she's that prompt.


Anyway.


Outside of that...we went fishing last week. My first time ever. SO fun. I fully intend to go again.


But this post is long enough, so I'll talk about that later.


Ja ne.